Firsts!

I always hear about baby firsts (first word, tooth etc..), but I am experiencing mommy firsts : )

1. First time trying to get ready and be somewhere at a certain time, with a baby!! (Dr appt)



2. First time going to Target to buy stuff for my baby (and I really am a mom).



3. First family dinner with her next to us!!



4. First family TV night. Before we watched TV, we read her some adoption children's' books. I've always seen them online, but I didn't know the whole stories (cute!!).



5. First time leaving her with Dad (Target). He did a great job.



6. First call to the Dr office. Something we would have figured out if we would just read the many reference books we have. Natural new parent thing : )



7. First time I had to hang up with a friend because MY child needed ME. Usually it is them that have to hang up.

I'm sure there are plenty more to come...

These pics are already sooo outdated. Her face changes so much everyday!!

I was explaining American Idol to Chylar today and we couldn't wait to watch it together for the FIRST time, but it wasn't on. So, tomorrow will be that FIRST.

Where do I start????

Gordon and I are parents!!! We have a happy, healthy, darling baby girl!

We were connected a few weeks ago with our birth mother (F). I didn't say anything to anyone because we were nurturing the relationship and the details. We wanted more information before we shared with everyone, since we weren't sure of a due date. F had a dr appt on Wednesday and I was expecting to get this information then. Well, due to other health issues, they admitted her for an induction. I got a call Thursday morning from F's attny and they said she was in the hospital and wanted us to go there. I called Gordon and we were off! She was in labor most of Thursday and what a trooper she was. NO EPIDURAL!!! She is one tough cookie. Once she was dilated the birth was quick. We were in the room and she wanted Gordon to cut the cord and me to hold the baby first. Everything happen sooo fast, that the Dr cut the cord... Oh well, the moment was beautiful and I did get to hold her, once they were done with her. We didn't know it was a girl, but were pleasantly surprised!!

We came home from the hospital today. Consent signing was at 6PM. I had family over to meet her as we all waited for the call that everything went smooth. We got the call. Her attorney called and said there was no hesitation and congratulated us. There was an overwhelming feeling of relief and happiness. We tried to call F tonight and thank her for changing our lives! This is a change we have wanted and worked so hard at and we are soo thankful for this tiny baby girl. Our lives are already enhanced and it has only been 3 days. She has changed so much in the 3 days. We can't take our eyes off of her or we may miss something! More to come, but I need to go to bed. I just didn't want to keep you guys hanging anymore!!!

Thanks cousin Lisa for keeping your ears open for us! She is so beautiful, I can't wait for you to meet her! Love you!!

Chylar Marie (pronouced like the boys name Kyle with an "r" at the end)

5lbs 10oz

19 1/4 inches

Pictures pending, sorry, unless you can log onto walgreens.. http://photo2.walgreens.com/share/p=449221237783668374/l=25999645/g=4556445/cobrandOid=1009/otsc=SYE/otsi=SALB

I'll try to put some on the blog tomorrow!!

Night!!

Mardi Gras!

It is Fat Tuesday! I will do my best to celebrate. : ) I actually started Fat Tuesday on Sunday. I went to an Oscar party and ate enough cheese to tide me over until Easter. Tonight I will TRY to talk Gordon into going to get a Blizzard. I don't think I will have to twist his arm. Since I am giving up sweets, as well as, cheese this year I need to get my fill!

Wish me luck...

Amazingly, I never lose any weight during this time. BUT, I've never given up both at the same time!! So, there is a chance I will look like a babe at Easter. The things we do for our Lord : )

Honest Crap

I've been tagged by Deanna -

The rules of the award:
1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. (All my bloggy friends have been tagged) : (
2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap."
3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

Here I go...

1) I hoard boxes and bags (Even grocery store bags, I can't throw them out!!) My poor pantry.

2) I would never want to live without cheese. I do give it up for lent, which is starting this week : (

3) I'm verrry frugal with money. I think infertility was God's way of getting me to spend...

4) I only buy the paper towels that you can rip off a half. Which is surprising because they cost about 4 x the amt of others.

5) When I'm home alone, I stay up late!

6) I can't read without falling asleep.

7) I loved algebra! I still give myself problems every once in awhile, just to see if I still got it!... I do!

8) I wish I could sing better. I love watching people sing. this is why I dvr American idol religiously, don't miss an award/honors show and would never arrive to a sporting event AFTER the National Anthem...

9) Secretly, (not so much anymore) think I would be a great actress. Gord says I'm dramatic!!

10) The relationships in my life are what I cherish most. I could always use another friend... Well, not USE them, you know what I mean!!!

Thanks Deanna, that was very enlightening. I don't have anyone to tag between you and Eileen, I think you hit all... Unless Carla is willing??? Carla? Bueller? Beuller?

Valentine's day

Gord felt we deserved something special for Valentine's day this year, so he planned a surprise. He booked us a night at the resort where we spent our wedding night. It was nice, we checked in yesterday afternoon and took a nap by the pool, got up an gussied up for dinner. When we came back from dinner, the hotel put champagne and chocolates in the room. That was even a surprise to Gord. In the morning, we got breakfast in bed! Cool deal, huh? We are home now and since he told me last week to plan nothing for this weekend, I am doing just that... NOTHING.

While we were out to dinner last night, we reminisced on last Valentine's day. Last year, we got a call from an attorney we had just met and she had a baby situation. During our meeting she thought we said we were already certified with our home study. Since we were not certified, she nipped the convo and said to let her now when we were. It was our first call and we just talked about it all dinner! We thought "WOW, this can happen fast for us"... Not knowing what the year was gonna bring.

All in all, it was a great weekend. Even though it was about 20 miles from our house, I feel like we got a way : )

Digging out!!

I'm sure I lost a lot of followers : )

As we dig ourselves out of our hole (slowly, but surely), we are coming back to life. I've been asked by several people if I will continue the blog, start a new one etc... I decided to keep the same one. It is the same journey... the end goal is the same, right?? Ella was a huge beginning and I'm sure there were many of lessons to be learned, but we are not bright eyed and bushy tailed enough to see them. All in all, I feel like we did everything right. We committed whole heartily and that is what we will have to do the next time. The next baby deserves that hope, attention, commitment, love and excitement that Ella got. I told my mother-in-law that if we are placed with a boy that he will be wearing pink for the first 12 mos and she said that was OK because Gordon did, too, and he turned out OK!! I loved that. It was news to Gord, but he is old enough to process this!! We do have a picture of him in tights, but they blamed that on the cold weather : )

I just wanted to check in... We are doing OK. We have good days and bad days. It is a healing process and we are letting ourselves grieve. We have a ton of support around us.

There is nothing to mention on the adoption front. Our name is out there and we will continue our journey. If there is one thing we learned it is that WE LOVED BEING PARENTS. Even if it was only for 3 days. : (

Thanks for all of the continued support!!

I think most of you have heard.

Tuesday was court, where Marla signs her consents and she has decided to parent Ella. We had to return Ella to her at the attorney's office on Tuesday. We had 3 days with her and we fell in love immediately. I always wondered what kind of dad Gord would be and it was awesome! He changed many diapers, sung her to sleep and just cried looking at her. It all felt natural. We loved being a family. I can't describe returning her. I'm sure you can imagine. We miss her greatly. We are mourning our loss. Her little hat she wore home from the hospital smells like her.

We are back in Phoenix. Even though we were praying after a couple of days Marla would change her mind, the attorney told us to leave immediately to be with loved ones. It was so hard to do this so far from everyone. Lucky for us our friends from Toronto drove down to meet Ella and were there to support us through the change of events. I don't know what it would have been like without them there. We did come home to a house full of family and friends to cry with. Everyone is doing their best to make sure we are not alone and not hungry. Obviously we are alone now, as I am sure my support system would advise against me writing this blog. But, I need to get it out. We hurt so much. We are very thankful for all our family and friends and the support we have received. I just wish the healing was immediate.

We are both taking a couple of days off and will return to work sometime next week.

Everyone, please pray the she has a good life and receives much love and attention. She deserves it!! This is all about her!!